Back to Work (Sort of)

I thought it would be easy. For weeks I've been saying how I was ready to go back to work, how I loved my job, how you'd be right down the hall...

And when I dropped you off at daycare today and I went into my office for four hours to try to get some work done before I go back to teaching full time next week, it was easy.

But when I picked you up and then we drove home and you were asleep in your car seat, I became sad--sad that I wasn't exactly sure how you spent your four hours away from me. Sure, I know you ate 3 times, got your diaper changed twice, and slept in your crib for 45 minutes (and somehow Abbey got you to fall asleep on your own--a feat you never do at home), but I'm used to hearing you babble back at me all day long and I know the difference between your "I'm hungry" cry, your "I'm bored" cry, and your "I'm overtired" cry. It hurts to let go a little bit--four hours this week; eight hours next. I'm just thankful that you're close by, down the hall really, and that I'm a teacher and we will have plenty of vacation days and summers to play and cry together.

Know today that I love you, even if I can't spend every minute with you. And know that I hope this experience makes you more social and independent and well adjusted in the future. You will always be my baby boy--even when I'm driving you to college...